I've never felt so betrayed or alone. I don't know what it is that makes me so repulsive or awkward. I just have natural boy repellent coursing through my veins. I thought he liked me, that's why we went on a date, but instead he makes out with my much prettier, much YOUNGER "friend". I guess I don't really deserve to be happy, or else things like this wouldn't happen. It's like life deliberately dangles these little treats in my face, and as soon as I get close, BAM! That little spark of hope is yanked away. The only friends I have can't even be supportive. I don't really have anyone to talk to here, and when I try, I am just made to feel like what I am feeling is unimportant and lame. I am not a priority in anyone's life. I don't know if I ever will be. I know that high school relationships never last, but that isn't the point. I truly, truly understand why they mean so much to people now. You just want to feel important, you want to feel loved and worthy and beautiful, if only for a short while. Because then, when times get difficult, you can always look back and remember- there is hope, I used to be something to someone, that means it can happen again. But for the people like me who have never had a relationship beyond that of my cat, my romance novels and chocolate, it makes you wonder- will I ever be important to someone? And that is the worst. It is beyond any physical pain that you may have. Love is the cause for war, the cause for pain, the cause for sorrow; just as much as it can cause joy, peace, and completeness. Because with it, life is perfection, but without it, there is only desolation.